Treat Your Existing Customers as if they are an Endangered Species – Keep them from becoming Extinct.

There is an old joke about a nun who dies prematurely and is about to be sent back to earth to continue on with her mission. As a consolation, St. Peter advises the nun that she may look around inside the Pearly Gates to see what she can expect in about 10 years when she is slated to pass on.

The nun looks around is is underwhelmed. It’s nice and everyone has their own cloud and harp, but rather mundane, nothing really exciting… just peaceful and nice. Out of curiosity, the nun asks St. Peter if it would be ok to see “the other place.”

St. Peter thought it a strange request but under the circumstances, thought it would be ok. He picked up the hotline to Hell and asked Satan if it could be arranged. And it was.

When the nun arrived in Hades, she was greeted by a big band playing jazz and people drinking martinis and others dancing and still others just laughing and having an overall great time. It was like a Hollywood A-List party and she was witness to a wonderful time. But, she was about to go back to earth to fulfill her human aspirations.

Ten years later, the nun passed away and was again greeted by St. Peter at the Gate.
“Welcome back, Sister. Welcome Home.”

The nun replied, “Thank you all the same, St. Peter, I’ve had 10 years of thinking about this moment and if it isn’t a problem with you, I’d like to go to the other place to live  my spiritual eternity.”

St. Peter was shocked… nonetheless, he felt that much was owed the nun for her lifetime of service to the Lord. He again called Satan and advised him of the situation. Satan was elated… to have a nun in Hell was quite unique. The nun began her journey downward.

When she arrived there, she was greeted by the stench of fire and brimstone. People were screaming agonizing screams and not one of them looked as if they were having anywhere remotely resembling the good times she witnessed ten years earlier.

She was disappointed to say the least and she spoke to Satan and asked him why there was such a dramatic difference.

He answered her, “Ten years ago, you were a prospect… Today, you are a customer.”

This is how most companies and businesses treat their prospects and their customers. The companies with stellar customer service, Nordstrom’s, the Ritz-Carlton, and others. They understand the value of their existing customer base, and the cost of retaining those customers is much, much less than the cost of acquiring new customers.

Treat your customers as you would your prospects. Your bottom line will thank you.

Verizon - Nexus One (Non) Release

I used to have inside information regarding Verizon releases... unfortunately this is true no longer. However, one thing I do know from my previous experience is that Verizon Communications (the telephone company) and Verizon Wireless are constantly becoming more and more integrated as far as their internal procedures and policies.

It makes sense, right? Why have two marketing departments, or two customer service departments when one will do? This is especially true when your 100+ year-old core business (telecommunications) has become virtually obsolete and your business plan has dramatically changed to depend on the relatively newer, leaner, faster, non-regulated wireless business.

So, Verizon is able to save big bucks by laying off thousands of management employees. Verizon is getting rid of their experienced marketing people and replacing them with their lower-salaried counterparts.

Again, this makes good business sense, on paper.  Well, one of the disadvantages to this plan is that along with the lower salaries, you get inexperience. I think that this is blatantly obvious with their failure to announce a release date for the long-awaited Nexus One at this year's CTIA conference.

According to many sources, Verizon's no-show has completely alienated thousands of prospects who are tired of waiting for the giant provider to provide them with a current blockbuster phone. We're aware of the network advantages of being on the Verizon network, but is it worth the lack of functionality of the surprise must-have gadget of the decade?

Verizon... wake up...

I'm afraid that for many of your subscribers who were waiting for an iPhone alternative and those tired of dropped calls on other networks it may be too late!

Eerie Elegance

This is another epinions review I wrote about the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel. Definitely a place I recommend visiting if you can.

Pros: Hollywood history and mythology.
Cons: You won't hear one coming from me.
The Bottom Line: The Hollywood Roosevelt is right in the heart of Hollywood. It is filled with mystery, charm and splendor. The rooms are truly unique. It's NOT a run-of-the-mill hotel.

kharriso's Full Review: Roosevelt Hotel Hollywood

Marilyn's presence is felt here even if you don't see her reflection in the full-length mirror that was moved from the cabana room in which she frequently stayed. The Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel reeks of Hollywood's regal and glorious history. As mentioned in an earlier review, it's rumored that the spirits of Marilyn Monroe and Montgomery Clift still walk the halls here. The ballroom which played host to the very first Academy Awards ceremony has an atmosphere thick enough to slice with a knife. I must tell you of a truly unique experience we had while there this April.

When we checked in, late one night last month, we asked for a room on a "lower floor" because my wife does not like to ride elevators. So, we were given a room on the 3rd floor. Little did we know that you couldn't get to ANY guest floor without taking the elevator. At least not without going through "Employee Only" entrances and back staircases. Not even the employees knew how to get to the 3rd floor without taking the elevator.

Thanks to a street-wise bellman from The Bronx (Hi Kenny!), we were taken through a maze of hallways, obviously not meant for public eyes. Through a laundry room, by the kitchen, past Marilyn's mirror to an employee entrance that looked as if it were rarely, if ever, used. The doorway led to a balcony hallway overlooking the grand ballroom... the haunted one... the one that was host to the first Academy Awards. It was spooky. And spectacular... There was one spotlight shining on a mural of Frank Sinatra... and no other lights. The ballroom doors were closed from the lobby entrance which made our bird's eye view even more spectacular. Perhaps, given the time of night, "bat's eye view" would be more accurate, although extremely corny.

I took the kids late at night to walk the haunted hallways outside Monty's room 928 and Marilyn's room 1200. They loved it. We scared ourselves into a fit of nervous laughter and we ran to the elevators as we imagined we heard Monty blowing his bugle and getting closer and closer. Now, to speak of "real" things like rooms, beds, cleanliness, food, room service, friendly staff members... give this hotel a five-star rating. I read an earlier review that gave the food a very poor rating, but I can tell you, quite definitely, the food is extraordinary. The room service is catered by none other than Wolfgang Puck! How can that possibly be bad?

It is also rumored that Bojangles first taught Shirley Temple their famous stair dance right here on the staircase leading from the mezzanine to the lobby.

If you love the "idea" of Hollywood, if you love the movies, if the mystique of stardom intrigues you or you have a fascination with the supernatural, stay at the Hollywood Roosevelt. You will not be disappointed.

Recommended:Yes

These guys know how to mind the store

Pros: Caribbean on a budget Cons: Poor food quality in most places The Bottom Line: I recommend a trip to the resort, just remember that you're in the Dominican republic.

Lifestyles Hacienda Crown Villas, Dominican Repub...

This was my first trip to an all-inclusive resort. I have never before had the pleasure of having my drinks included in my vacation fund and I have to tell you… I love it! The trip took a bit of time to get to the island. Leaving from NY we were not able to get any direct flights. All of them included a stopover in Atlanta. I think that if I were in charge of setting up the trip I would have been able to find one, but I was just a guest on this one. But we lived through it and we were able to enjoy our stay at the Lifestyles Hacienda Villas. The villa we stayed in was beautiful. Marble tiled floors, columned arches supporting tiki styled gazebo by the pool. Food was an issue. A big issue for me. I like to eat. And the food quality went from horrible to barely edible. But let me start at the beginning: Our arrival at the Puerto Plata Airport was pleasant enough at first. We were all thinking, “this isn’t bad for a third world country.” After signing papers and visas and paying $10 US for each person entering the Dominican Republic and being waved through customs…. We were caught in a whirlwind of activity as soon as we got out of the terminal. We knew we were in a poverty-stricken country. We had arrived. Cab drivers, porters, locals with their hands stretched out all looking for some “American twenties… for my family.” What ever happened to “Spare change?” Thank goodness we had already arranged for a ride to the resort and our two minivans were awaiting our party of nine. As countless people shouted at us to follow them, we had a heck of a time watching our luggage. Especially because it was being shepherded into two minivans with no rhyme or reason. But they all arrived with us at our resort. The ride from the airport to Lifestyles Hacienda was interesting. We drove right through the city of Puerto Plata and it was quite an experience. Poverty loomed everywhere. It was quite overwhelming. I think there was one traffic light between the airport and the resort and we went directly through the city for a half-hour ride. Of course, we got stuck AT that traffic light which enabled some people to come up to the minivans and try to wash windows. The drivers got very upset at that. They kept shouting “touristas, touristas.” And they told us that the beggars should not approach vehicles with a “touristas” sign on them. We were very pleased when we finally took a turn off the main drag into the Resort grounds. Golf courses, lush green vegetation, palm trees and tropical splendor surrounded us. We were greeted at the reception area with ice cold glasses of sangria. Very delicious and thirst-quenching. We were VIPs and we were treated as such. I’m pretty sure we were ripped off on the price of the “all-inclusive” piece, but it was still worth it. It cost us $75 per person per day. My 11 year old was $37.50/day. We met fellow “touristas” who paid $37.50 for the adults. For the next 7 days we were treated as VIPs by the greeters and the staff… well, most of the staff anyway. Our villa came with a maid who cooked breakfast for the household every morning. She prepared the eggs to our liking and was very nice. The Beach - Cofresi Beach is nice enough, but when I think of a tropical beach I tend to think of white sands and turquoise blue waters. The water here was murky and the sand was grey to black. The beach did have some palm trees and was picturesque in ways, but, close up, it left much to be desired. There was a VIP Beach and a “regular’ BEACH. The VIP beach was lined with beds that hung from curtained frames. A little too Romanesque for my tastes. The regular beach was good enough for us, lounge chairs moved to wherever we wanted by a friendly staff person. We chose to have ours right by the bar. Pedro the bartender made sure that we had plenty of drinks and that they were always fresh. “Happy Happy.” Food was a problem here too. There was a restaurant/bar called The Blue Lagoon that had terrible food and awful service. It was the worst part of this vacation. Our villa was the saving grace. We knew that at the end of the day, we would head back to our villa to relax with each other and sit and talk in relaxing surroundings and a fully stocked refrigerator. El Presidente beer, white and red wine, sangria, and rum all flowed endlessly and they were happy to refurbish our supply every day. We had a few problems that were taken care of by the staff. The water pressure was, at times, non-existent. That went for the hot water also. When we all took showers in the morning, it paid to be one of the first ones in. The brochure names one of the amenities as free internet access. That is, whenever it was available. If you vacation here, you need to remember that it is still a third world country. Blackouts are frequent although it seemed that most of them happened overnight. And they didn’t last for long. The longest one while we were there lasted for just under an hour. Getting around. There are lots of activities going on around the resort. Each day you are advised of those activities by a brochure delivered with your morning paper. Very convenient. The only problem was that they didn’t identify where these activities were being held. For example, one activity was a basketball competition that my 15 and 11 year old boys were looking forward to, but we couldn’t find. It was supposed to be at the main pool. They have several pool areas and none of them are identified as “Main Pool.” We ended up missing that one the first day, but we were able to ask around and get to most places without much trouble. Thing is, many of the staff didn’t understand English and it made us feel much like the Ugly American… like they should be catering to us without us thinking about their language… oh, wait a minute, they SHOULD be catering to us… I paid money for that service. Anyway, it could have been better. The management of the resort explained to us that it was a hardship for them to get good help and to train those who were willing to be trained. This lifestyle was very different for the native Dominican. Bottom Line: If you’re looking for a different experience and don’t mind searching for the silver lining, the Dominican Republic and the Lifestyles Hacienda Villas are a good bargain. Recommended: Yes

Best Pizza Place in the Area Loses $1000s

OK, there is this pizza place here on Long Island that opened about 2 years ago. It's pizza just like the best from the Bronx, back in the day. One particularly busy night I stopped to get a large pie with fresh garlic for the family after a late day at work. It was around 7pm. I had called for the pie about an hour ahead, knowing they were busy and I was told that it would be a 40 minute wait. I knew I'd have to give them at least 80 minutes... they are notorious for making their customers wait. And wait they do... the food is THAT GOOD. And not just the pizza, all of their dishes are exquisite.

Anyway, I get there and I'm told, oh, yours will be out in a few minutes. This is with the cushion of their 40 minutes plus my 20 minutes. Total time since my call to order, 1 hour... for a large pie... and I'm still told I have to wait... ok... par for the course.

About 10 minutes into my wait I observe a server taking a pie out of the oven, cutting it into slices, placing it into a box and taking what I know to be my ticket... ok, things are good. He calls out to the waiting crowd, "Kevin." But my name is Ken. He must've gotten it wrong. No. A guy behind me says... "Yo... that's me." He hands Kevin the pie and he walks out.

The pizza guy that I know comes from the kitchen and sees me waiting. He says, "You're still waiting?" And then he has a conversation with the server who gave Kevin his pie... and I hear snippets of that conversation, "No... not Kevin... Ken... fresh garlic... none on Kevin's." He promptly tells me that there's been an error, and he'll get my pizza out in 10 minutes... he busies himself making another pie. If this place were not so good I would have walked out and gone to a different place. But, as I said, the food is "THAT GOOD."

I can tell this is going to be a very long night. I walk outside the pizza place to call my wife and tell her so as I observe Kevin placing his pie in the back seat of his car. He looks puzzled and he opens the box that the pie is in and sticks his nose in it. I'm thinking, he got the wrong pie and he doesn't like fresh garlic, as I walk back into the place. Sure enough, Kevin is right behind me. He makes his way through the crowd and calls the pizza guy over to the side of the counter. He whispers something to him. I watch him walk back out to his car, take the pie that he just stuck his nose into, and hands the pie back to the pizza guy. He takes it and places it on top of the ovens. I'm thinking... he's kidding, right? That pie should have been placed right into the garbage... I saw Kevin stick his nose into that box, who knows what else he could have stuck in there? Kevin walks out with his correct order, and I sit to watch and see what happens next.

About two minutes later, I'm told, "Ok, you're all set." And I watch the pizza guy take Kevin's nosed-into pizza box off the ovens and place it on the counter.

I. Am. Stunned.

I say to him, "You're not trying to give me Kevin's pizza that he got in error, are you?" You see, I liked this place. I loved the food. I was going to give this guy every opportunity to redeem himself.

He says, "No. Kevin's pizza is in THAT box," pointing to another box on the back oven.

I said, "I watched you place that box from Kevin, right where you got this one from, and I'm telling you, I saw this from right over there."

He responds, "Hey, you kow me, I wouldn't do that."

I said, "I thought I knew you, until you just responded to me with a lie, and I gave you the opportunity to correct your error, you still lied right to my face. Never mind that this is a violation of Health regulations. You've lost me as a customer for life."

He didn't say another word.

Before this event, I ate there at least once a week with my family and once a week for lunch with lunch buddies. Well, that was a year and a half ago. I have not set foot inside this place since this incident that could have easily been avoided and definitely would have been overlooked if the employee had corrected the "mistake" he had made. But, as a result of a poor decision, he did NOT correct the mistake and has cost the small business owner thousands of dollars in revenue.
What's worse is, the owner will never know why I left. And why over 300 people who work within two blocks of his store have heard that story and use that as part of their decision as where to have lunch 5 days a week.

I've thought of going in to tell the owner a few times, but each time I've attempted, that same guy is behind the counter and I think, I am not going against my word. I'll never set foot inside that place again.

If you're a small business owner, ask yourself, "Who's minding the store?"

Lack of Responsibility

I see it more and more every day. Young representatives of established corporations, telephone customer service reps, clerks at the movie theater candy counter, the guys in 7-11... it's almost too much to grasp... this total lack of personal responsibility on behalf of the service provider, that permeats just about every interaction that I have as a customer.

After a customer complained about getting mayo all over her brand new blouse, I observed the Quizno's Franchise owner tell the customer that the mayonnaise dispenser must have a cold because it sneezed on her shirt, and he laughed about it. No further discussion, no offer of payment for cleaning the shirt, no free soda on your next visit, no apology, nothing at all.

What's worse is that the customer accepted that non-response. I'm telling you, we are getting beyond apathetic here in America. We'll just accept whatever you throw at us. Even mayo.

Do you feel it too? Is it just me?

They just dropped the ball

I posted this review on epinions.com. It's a good example of a highly rated hotel in the Newport News, VA area forgetting about customer service once you've made the sale. A question for you after you've read about my experience, "Would you return to this place, or recommend it to a fellow traveler?"
Here it is in its entirety:

There are better choices in the area. Written: Jul 10 '08 Product Rating: Pros: Nice decor. Good customer (prospect?) service. Cons: Poor cleanliness and responsiveness to guest feedback. The Bottom Line: I recommend you find another place in the area. Cleanliness on the road is important and requests for providing clean rooms should not fall on deaf ears.

kharriso's Full Review: Omni Newport News Hotel

I stayed at this hotel because I was on a business trip. This is one of the recommended places to stay. The description on its own website and through AAA was more than adequate enough to appease my conservative tastes. After all, they are a self-described "...upscale suburban hotel that's the picture of quintessential luxury." I made my reservations and was very happy with the customer service I received from both the front desk as well as the reservation representatives. The photo of the hotel was an impressive one that made me feel that I was going to be staying in a wonderfully exquisite place. When I arrived quite early for check-in time... 10am, my room was not ready. That was quite understandable. Check-in wasn't till 3pm. I was advised when making my reservations that early check-in was quite acceptable and even very common, so, while I was not really very happy, I was certainly not overly disappointed with the room not being ready so early. Even though I was extremely tired from not sleeping the night before and could have just curled up on the lobby sofa, I graciously accepted the cold-hard fact that I would have to wait. I drove to the place I would need to be at 4pm for my business meeting. Killing two birds with one stone I managed to stay awake for another hour and map out my route for later when I was sure to be rushing, last-minute after waking from the short sleep I was getting very anxious to take. When I returned to the hotel I found that they had a room for me. I was elated. Normally, when I check into a hotel room, I explore. I look for previous occupant "dirt." This time I was just happy to find an inviting king-sized bed with fluffy pillows in a nicely air-conditioned room. No sooner did I get undressed and under the covers when the phone rang and the concierge was asking if I was happy with my room. I answered, "Yes, it's cool in here and it's got a big bed." I hung up and went into a pleasant sleep. I awoke, as expected, with barely enough time to get ready to leave. Still no exploration. I got back to the hotel around 12:45am and was again tired enough to pass out into the fluffy bed. When I turned out the lights, I saw that there was a red light flashing on my room's phone, telling me that there was a message waiting for me. It was the concierge desk again wanting to know if I was happy with the room. I didn't return the call. When I got up on the second day here I finally took the time to get comfortable with my surroundings. The room, of course, had the bed I mentioned in which I had already rested comfortably twice, it also had a sofa, a glass and curled-iron coffee table, a desk with a lamp and power-strip that's big enough to charge a laptop, a Palm TX and a cell phone. An Ethernet cable was anchored on the desk by the phone for high-speed internet connection, even though wireless internet is available. Although, the front desk will tell you that wireless internet is not available anywhere but in the 4th floor lobby... I still can't figure that one out... I am posting this review to Epinions on the hotel's wireless internet connection from my room on the 5th floor. Go figure. A cabinet which matched the headboard contained a TV, a small refrigerator and four drawers. The room had nice amenities like a hair dryer, a coffee maker, an alarm clock (with an MP3 adaptor, which was a very nice surprise) a nice painting on one wall, and a gilded mirror on another wall. I would say the room was nicely furnished and had nice bells and whistles. But... I was sorely disappointed in the cleanliness of the room. The bathroom had a substance on the floor that I was able to ignore on my first trip to the shower, but I had to call and request that it be cleaned when the maid service had failed to do so. Even though I had alerted them to this oversight, I ended up cleaning it myself. Gross. The floor on the far side of the bed looked as if no one had traversed back there in weeks... maybe months. The carpet was dusty. Yes. Dusty. I don't think you should be able to notice dust on a patterned carpet, which also had a permanent stain in front of the cabinet. Maybe something spilled out of the refrigerator from some former occupant. It's hard to complain about the stain... that comes with a hotel that looks like it's starting to age. But the bathroom substance and the dusty carpet... the hotel staff could have easily taken care of those items. But they didn't. So, I was happy with their customer service when I was a prospect, but not once I was a customer. Special Note on room shape: The bathroom, closet, and front-door were situated in such a way that if one of those doors were open, it was difficult to maneuver. Also, there was no room to set up the ironing board.